Kings and Fools

I've been thinking (Uh-Oh), and you know those people who always say "Live life with no regrets," or "I don't regret anything, it's made me who I am today" ?

Well . . . That's bullcrap. For several reasons.

And since you asked, here they are:

That kind of attitude reflects an immature, ignorant, naive, selfish outlook on life and those around you. If you say that you don't regret anything in your life, you are one of three things. You're either a liar (and you do regret things, you just don't let on), you're deceiving yourself (and you won't admit to yourself that you regret things), or you're careless.

You (and when I say "you", I am speaking to the figurative collective that embodies the ideal of "not regretting anything") don't regret ANYTHING? Really? No sin you've committed? No words you've spoken rashly that hurt yourself or someone you love? Not something you did or did not do that made your circumstances harder, or hurt someone else? Not a decision you made that ended up bringing you more headaches and harm than good? Think for a second...you really don't regret anything?

That is so foolish.

If you don't regret things you've done, or words you've said to someone you love, you are selfish, careless, and ignorant. To say that you don't regret hurting someone is the epitome of naivete. How wrapped up in your own little world do you have to be in order to say something like that?

When I think back on my life, there are more than a few moments that I would like to reach out into the air and snatch back the words that I just spit out of my mouth, because I can see the damage they've done written on the faces to whom they were directed. I can see the consequences of actions that I have taken without thinking, actions that have ended up hurting me, and hurting those I love, consequences that could have been avoided if I had just paused, and thought, and calmed myself, and controlled myself, just for a moment.

To say that you don't regret anything in life is to say that you don't care who you hurt, you're going to do and say and be whatever you want, regardless of the people, feelings, or consequences that are wrought from your attitude.

And to say that you don't regret anything because "it has made me what I am today" is equally, if not more, foolish. Have you ever stopped to consider the fact that "who you are", this person that you have become and take so much pride in, isn't who you should be? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe, just maybe, who you've become isn't that great of a person? (How do you tell a friend that you don't like what they're becoming?) Probably not, because your pride is more important.

To say that you don't regret anything is to say that you haven't learned from your mistakes.

Yes, my decisions have made me who I am today, but some of those decisions I regret, and they have made the difference. They have made me more sensitive to people, more careful, more considerate, more loving. It is BECAUSE I regret those things that I will not repeat them.

And really, saying that you don't regret anything is just another way of saying that you haven't done anything worth regretting. Your life has been meaningless. You haven't ventured, you haven't risked, and odds are, you haven't loved.

Fools.


If that statement (Live life with no regrets) is more of a pre-emptive attitude, then fine. If what you mean is don't let an opportunity pass you by, and in that way, you won't have any regrets, then good. But I'm willing to bet that's not what you mean.


I would rather live with a mountain of regret than live a life where I have never put anything on the line, never risked myself, my pride, my being, on something that could be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I would rather carry the burden of my mistakes, then be so prideful as to think that I have never made one. I would rather carry with me a heart full of hurt, than shovel that hurt onto someone else through my actions and words.

I regret, yes, but I have lived.

What have you done?