Smashed: Thoughts on Drunkenness

I’m what you would call a casual drinker. I like my beer (Bud’s the one for me). I like my jack and coke (usually when I’m out at a restaurant or bar). However, I’ve never been drunk. I’ve been “buzzed” a couple times, whatever that means. The most memorable moment was when I had just driven five hours to D.C., hadn’t had anything to eat, went down to the hotel bar and while I waited for the rest of the group to arrive, had a jack and coke that was one part coke, seventeen parts jack. Even then I was completely coherent and in full control of my motor functions.

All of this is to say that I don’t see the point of getting wasted. I never have. I have no problem with drinking. I drink. I enjoy it. I enjoy having drinks with friends, and with family.

Here’s the thing: I have never heard a single story from anyone that involved getting drunk and something beneficial happening. Ever.

I’ve heard countless stories of drunken endeavors. People puking on themselves. People doing something stupid with a married person. Drunken hookups with strangers. Getting DUI’s after leaving a party to go to a bar. Getting lost and nearly getting raped. On and on and on I could go. Nothing good ever happens.

But that’s the stereotype, isn’t it? People have these nights, and then they tell their friends about them the next morning with these mixed tones of regret/pride. I think maybe that’s the thing I hate most about all these stories I hear: the fake tones of regret when really all these people are doing is bragging. They act like it was the dumbest night of their lives, but really they wear these stories like badges of honor, and then the next weekend they go out and do it all over again.

And it’s not just the stories I hear, it’s the things I see. On several occasions I’ve been out with friends and people in the group get wasted, and it’s not fun anymore. People get hurt, feelings get hurt, fights are started, relationships end over stupidity. You have the people who get crazy sensitive and inevitably something is said to hurt their feelings and they go sulk. You have the meat-heads, who are short on brains already; throw alcohol into the mix and you have a recipe for fights/cheating, which then creates a spin-off disaster of angry girlfriends and peripheral chicks. You have the people who can’t hold their liquor and get sick in random places and end up having to be dragged through the rest of the night.

In short, when people get drunk, it ruins the evening. It’s divisive.

I’m a pretty chill person. I like to relax, hang out, have a good time. I don’t mind things getting a little crazy, or loud, or spontaneous. That’s great. That’s what friends are for. But when people get pissed off/stupid/horny with the wrong person/angry/hurt, it’s a bad evening for everyone involved. Most of this could be avoided if people just didn’t feel the need to rely on booze to have a good time.

I have a great time with my friends and I don’t need to be out-of-my-mind plastered to do it. That’s not really friendship. I have nothing to prove. I don’t need to go home with a story about how hammered I got and the stupid things I did as a result. I’d much rather go home with my memory, friendships, and dignity intact. I can make memories with my friends without getting drunk, and at the end of the night, at the end of my life, those are the times I’m going to look back on fondly.

I have enough regrets as it is. Real regrets. Regrets that came naturally, not by stupid decisions due to being wasted. Hard-won regrets that came at a price and offered a lesson. Regrets of which I am not proud. I don’t need to create more by being stupid. My mistakes are real. They’re the stuff life is made of.

I’m not going to drink my weekends, my feelings, my friendships, or my life, away.

Top Ten Thoughts O' The Day (6-28-10)

10. Man, it's been awhile since I've done a Top Ten Thoughts post.

9. I'm not ready. It's ending all over again.

8. Currently reading The Passage by Justin Cronin. Not finished yet, but almost. Best book I've read in a long time.

7. Really looking forward to my three day weekend. Really looking forward to getting out of that factory, but that's a little farther away...

6. Peace Corps. Hmm....................

5. Can't wait for Florida in a couple weeks. I'm praying it works out.

4. Thinking of taking up leather-working. Like I don't have enough hobbies that take up my time.

3. Doubt is an excellent film. Only for people who like films, though.

2. I probably will never meet another person who is as obsessed with music as I am.

1. Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. Damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
-Fight Club (film)

Pick of the day: .moneen. - The World I Want to Leave Behind

I discovered .moneen. while I was in college, and I remember liking them; but I think there's a phenomena that occurs for music lovers, wherein you're simply not ready to hear a certain band, or record, or song, because you haven't fully travelled down that specific path long enough to be prepared. And if you were to listen to that band, or record, or song before that time, you wouldn't like it. If this has happened to you, you know exactly what I mean. .moneen. is one of those bands for me. I listened to The World I Want to Leave Behind a few weeks ago, and it left me asking myself the question, "How can something I've never heard before make me feel nostalgic?" This record sounds like my late high school/early college days, even though it was released in 2009. If you like Jimmy Eat World, Cartel, or The Juliana Theory, do yourself a favor and listen to this record, particularly "The World I Want to Leave Behind", "Hold That Sound", and "The Glass House".

Pick of the day: Secret & Whisper - Teenage Fantasy

Huge, HUGE step up for this band. When I heard 2008's Great White Whale I was immediately intrigued, but not blown away. Whale had some great songs ("XOXOXO" being my favorite from that record), but Teenage Fantasy is better in every way. Better songwriting, thicker atmosphere, and more memorable and distinct melodies. "Warrior" is, by far, my favorite track on the record. Ear-candy.

Pick of the day: Baroness - Blue Record

Definitely a guitar player's band. Sounds like the bastard son of Mastodon. Is it metal for indie-rockers? Or indie-rock for metal-heads? I can't decide. Doesn't matter, I love every second of it.

The Flaming Sword

"The discipline of creation, be it to paint, compose, or write, is an effort toward wholeness." -L'Engle

I've been thinking about the cycle I see in the Bible, and the way the world goes. It seems I hear of a new natural disaster or man-made crisis every time a see a paper, have a conversation, or go online. It seems like things are...accelerating. And it makes me wonder how long we have left before things finally come to an end.

I struggle with the idea of peace and war. I struggle with the fact that some part of me really does believe in the potential and power of man, believes in the idea that if we wanted to, we could change the world, make it a better place, a place of peace, maybe even a utopia. I see the light of which we are capable, the goodness and the love. And I wonder why we can't all get a handle on it on a consistent basis. But then I also see the darkness.

Then I look at the scriptures and I see the same struggle. I am reminded that once we were perfect. Once the earth was a paradise. But all of that was ruined. So God, this being who created it all in the first place, reached down into the realm of heaven and fixed it. The damage was done, but he made amends, and taught us how to do the same.

When Adam and Eve at the fruit, they were kicked out of Eden, which was essentially and symbolically the departure of paradise from the earth and from our hearts. When God placed the flaming sword at the entrance, I feel it was His way of saying paradise is over and will never be achieved on the earth again. You cannot re-enter the garden. You cannot go back. You can only go forward. So we did.

Until the next time. When things were so bad that God had to intercede once more. He tried to give us another chance, not at paradise, but at living like we were supposed to. But we didn't. So He tried to wash the world clean with a flood, and even though there were only a handful of people on the ark, one is all it takes to carry the darkness. It only takes one of us.

After the flood, we tried again. When things got worse, God literally abandoned heaven, and became one of us, to show us how to live, how this whole earthly life is meant to be lived. And we still couldn't do it. If only we all lived the way Jesus lived, we would have paradise again. But we don't. Not even the ones of us who call ourselves by his name. But God knew we couldn't and wouldn't. So he died for us.

The entire story of the Bible is the story of God setting things right. Taking our mistakes and trying to correct them. Cleaning up our mess.

Then I look at where we are now, where we've come since Christ. And we've done it again. We've made a mess of things. And God is going to have to clean up after us. Again.

Then I think back to the start, the beginning, the original paradise. And I realize even that wasn't our doing. It was created by Him. And I ask myself, "What do I mean when I say paradise? Do I mean the garden itself?" But of course the answer is no. The reason it was paradise is because we were together with God. And now...

...we are not.

But the time is coming when God must make things right, once and for all. He has to save us, all over again. And I guess I'm just looking forward to the day when all of this...is perfect. When paradise is finally achieved, but by our hands. When the flaming sword is finally gone and we can walk back into the garden. Forever.

The day when "all shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well."

Recommendation: Walking on Water - L'Engle

"All art is cosmos; cosmos found within chaos."

I've been reading through Walking On Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L'Engle for the past week or so. Normally I'm a very fast reader, and I can read quickly without sacrificing comprehension most of the time. But I'm reading this one slowly, taking time to digest it fully.

If you're an artist, creative person, or a Christian, this is a book that you should read. If you're not, it is still highly recommended. L'Engle encourages the reader to seek truth anywhere and everywhere it can be found and claim it as our own, and explains why story is the primary medium through which truth can be spread. She offers profound insight on why we are driven to create and what the meaning of creation is, and how it can help us make sense of things in a world that nearly never makes sense. A highly valuable read, and I'm only on Chapter 5.

"There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred."

Welcome.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to the new and hopefully improved Ether. I felt so cramped and cluttered, I decided I had to open the place up. Open the windows, let the breeze blow through. Lots more light in here now, isn't there?

This is the beginning of something new. I do not post nearly as often as I should, and starting now, there will be semi-daily posts on anything and everything.

On that note, here is something that will be popping up on a regular basis.
Top five artists of the day:

1. Isis (Oceanic - particularly "False Light")
2. Death Cab For Cutie - ("I Will Follow You Into the Dark")
3. Baroness - (Blue Record)
4. War of Ages - (Eternal)
5. God is an Astronaut - (Age of the Fifth Sun)

Top Ten Thoughts O' The Day (6-3-10)

10. This whole perfect game/blown call thing is very unfortunate. I actually feel worse for Jim Joyce than I do for Galarraga. Everyone knows Galarraga threw a perfect game, and there is speculation that there will be something done about it (I don't know how realistic that is). The same holds true for Jim Joyce, unfortunately: EVERYONE KNOWS Galarraga threw a perfect game. It's one of those things that scar an entire career in a split second. And let's face it, the man is human. And while it sucks that the call is made, I feel for Joyce. And as much as Galarraga was a class act about it, so was Joyce. He reviewed the tape himself and realized his own mistake and apologized for it, and he is agonized over it. He handled it like a class act, as well. Galarraga got a corvette from his team to make up for it. Joyce made an honest mistake and, unfortunately, it's one that probably won't ever be lived down.

9. Fringe. Nuff said.

8. I need an acoustic guitar somethin' fierce. I have two electrics, both of which I enjoy very much. But an acoustic would be very useful right now. Many things I've been writing would be better suited to an acoustic. If there are any millionaires out there who would like to sponsor my writing/music/artwork, please contact me.

7. I've gathered you here to say my last piece/A few final words before I am deceased/If I could have your attention, observe this fuse/It leads to these explosives that I'm about to use/Before you freak out, just let me explain/This bomb is the answer to all of my pain/When the spark reaches powder, I will blow up/I'll become a mist you breathe into your lungs/Then all of my love will then turn into yours/And you will feel hope bleeding out from your pores
-"Appreciation and the Bomb" -The Spill Canvas

6. Me: "I need a vacation."
Ashley: "I need a week at the beach."
Me: "Yeah, me too."
Ashley: "There's something about the beach. The ocean, the waves, the sand, the sunlight, that heals your soul."
Amen, sister.

5. I would also very much like a motorcycle. Maybe once I get some of this debt cleared up.

4. I would also very much like to get my tattoos.

3. I would very much like to move to the city. Like, right now. I want city lights late at night. I want the streets. I want the crowds and the buildings. I want a life there. It would be nice if I could do it with my friends, like Ted and Lily and Marshall did. That would make it a heck of a lot easier. Guaranteed roommates. All we would have to do is find our MacLaren's. Speaking of which, Bill Monthie wrote a blog that you should read. You can find it here.

2. Traveling makes me feel alive. It always has. I just want to make enough money from music and writing to let me do that. I want to wake up in a new place every day. I want to play music for a roomful of people that appreciate music. I want to meet people who have read my writing, and talk with them about anything and everything. I want to meet strangers. I want to be on my own without any ties for awhile. I want freedom. I want my group of friends. I want have a hangout spot. I want to go down to "our same old bar, sit in our regular booth, and order the usual." Seemingly contradictory thoughts. Oh well.

1. The road gets into a guy. -John Steinbeck