My Best Year of College

It seems like for the past year, my life has been a vigorous exercise in Murphy’s Law. Jobs, money, relationships, friendships, personal struggles, family health issues, student loans, etc. There have been times when I have wanted to throw in the towel and walk away from life. This, however, can never and will never be an option, however much I may want it to be. After all, I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever quit.

A year like the one I’ve experienced is a good way to discover a lot about yourself, and an excellent way to see what you’re made of. Maybe that was the point for everything I’ve gone through, to get me to the point, personally, where I am right now. If it is, so be it. I have prayed consistently throughout my life for God to make me into what he wants me to be, even if he has to hurt me, even if he has to take things away. And God always answers prayers.

There are a number of things that I have discovered about myself. I have often wondered at what point one can know he has officially become a man. It seems to me that there is a certain…potential to a person that, unless exercised, will be eternally just that: potential. It seems that a person is this squishy and malleable mass of attributes, and unless those attributes are fired and hardened, then they will fade away and become nothing. I feel like that has happened to me, and I’ve reached the point that every person comes to eventually, the point where what you could be becomes either what you are, or what you never will be.

Here is what I am: I am a man of fortitude. I am iron. I am confrontational. I am a fighter. I don’t back down from a challenge. I am a fierce friend. I am a writer. I am a loner, in a good way. I am a romantic. I am all or nothing. I’m a darn good cook.

But there is something else that I have learned this year. Something else has happened.

I have been graduated from college for almost a full year. Due to circumstances, I have found myself still in Lynchburg, still haunting my alma mater. I have been able to live the life of a college student, minus the classes, responsibilities, and stress. I have more than my share of my own stresses, but I have been able to experience the best parts of being in college without actually being in college. It seems like I have spent more good, quality time with my friends this year than when I was actually in school. Whether it’s jamming and recording music with one of them, going to intramural volleyball games and supporting my old team, or staying on the dorm until all hours of the morning, playing multiplayer games, watching movies, talking, hanging out, laughing myself silly, and generally having a romping good time, this has been the best year of my college experience.

If I’ve learned anything in this relatively short life of mine, it is this: Friends come and go. Some of the people you care about the most will decide that you are not worth it, and they will leave your life. Some of the best friends in the world will fade away, not due to anyone’s fault, but just because that’s the way things are. Some people just refuse to make an effort. But what everyone else does isn’t the point, is it? No, the point is, what did you do? What have you done with the friends that you’ve had? Have you done right by them? Did you make an effort?

See, the important thing is, what are you becoming? And what are you to the people who matter the most?

People come and go. The best that you can hope for is that you have enough time with your friends, your real friends, the ones who stay true.

For all the bad parts of this year, I’ve learned one thing about myself.

If a man is the sum of his friends, then I am one hell of a man.