Monday, September 30, 2013

On Breaking Bad






Well, it’s over.  I’m sure that’s a bigger deal for most everyone else than it is for me.  As I only started the show about a month and a half ago, I didn’t have the agonizing wait, the long, slow build-up over the last five or so years to see how this all would turn out.  And that might have more than a small effect on how I feel about the show.  I’ve wondered if perhaps I would have felt more strongly about the show had I not had ready access to pretty much the whole series from the get-go.  The suspense wasn’t necessarily a huge factor, because I could just throw on the next episode and see what happened pretty much immediately.

That being said, I have been trying to crystalize my thoughts on the show as a whole.  Normally, when a show ends, I can see the strengths and the weaknesses and evaluate where it could have or should have gone, what they should have done differently, where they may have veered off the path.  There’s none of that with my thoughts on Breaking Bad.  Which in and of itself is impressive.  There are no mistakes.  There are no missteps in the writing.  There are no plot holes to speak of.   
In pretty much every way, the show is perfect. 

As a piece of creative work, it is flawless. 

And that’s what I’m having trouble with.  If the show is that consistently high quality, you would think I would connect with it more than I did.  I have no complaints, I have no nit-picks, no thorns that are going to stick in my side when I think back to it. 
I think the closest thing to what I’m feeling right now about Breaking Bad is a feeling a got occasionally when I was in college.  I read a lot of works of literature.  Works that were supposed to be giants.  Works of varied and subtle brilliance.  Works that have gone and will go through the years regarded as indispensable.  And I didn’t really enjoy them all that much. 

And I think that’s what I would say about Breaking Bad.  It is without a doubt a work of art.  It is as close to literature as a television show can ever get.  It is masterfully and intricately crafted.  It is perfectly-and-I-do-mean-perfectly acted. 

I’ve been accused of being a hipster, accused of not liking the show just because it’s so popular.  And that’s honestly not it.  In fact, I started watching because I wanted to be part of the group, part of the discussion.  And now, having seen it, and looking at it from the inside, I find that I admire it much more than I enjoyed it.   
 Aside from a few moments of shock-oh-my-god-Gus’s-face-is-gone, I didn’t connect with it on an emotional or personal level. 

I very rarely cared about any of the characters, except for certain times with Jesse.  Some of the Walt moments, or maybe I should say Heisenberg moments, did resonate with me.  Because after all, we recognize the person he became, because a part of that person is inside all of us I believe.  I understand the powerful urge to seize control of your own life, to dictate instead of being dictated, to do what you want because you want to do it because that’s the highest law.  I understand that, and as a man specifically, that is powerful thing.  But I never really cared for Walt, or frankly any of the characters on the show. 

But at the same time, I keep finding things to praise.  I keep thinking of good things to say about the show.  That reaffirms in my mind that Breaking Bad is an altogether different experience than any show I’ve previously seen. 

The masterwork that it is cannot be questioned.  But I struggle with seeing the overall merit of the show as something that affects my life and my mind and my inner workings.  The show is basically one bad thing happening after another.  And at the end, there really is no redemption for Walt.  And yes, I know the show is called Breaking Bad for a reason, and perhaps I shouldn’t be looking for redemption, because that’s not what it is about.

But therein lies the problem with all things nihilistic.  No matter how great things are, in the end they amount to nothing.  And I guess that’s where my feet are landing.  I’m struggling to see the point. 

It just feels…empty.

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