Social Commentary: Part I

 *Note: This was written several weeks ago, maybe several months.  I can't quite remember.  But there are two other parts to this entire train of thought that will come later.  But this is the foundation, and a good place to start.

I am writing this post on my home computer at 1 am, because these thoughts are weighing heavily on my mind.  I would like to assure all who read the following, on both sides of the argument, that this is not a grand-stand to broadcast my belief one way or the other, but an honest exploration of the issue, as it appears to me.  I will make some statements.  I will ask some questions.  Because writing is how I learn.  It is how I grow.  It is how I explore my own thoughts and feelings on any particular matter.  And it is, hopefully, an opportunity for me to explore others thoughts and feelings as well.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am less than thrilled with the state of modern Christianity.  Anne Rice, an author who I admire, not only for her technical ability but also for her insight, made a statement once that has stuck in my mind ever since I first read it:  “Christ is, and always will be, infinitely more important than Christianity.”  I am not ashamed to say that I do, in fact, believe in Jesus Christ as the creator, savior, and redeemer of our world.  But when I think of aligning myself with the majority of people who make up the thing today known as Christianity, I feel…something like shame.  I share some of the same beliefs with these people, of course.  But their methods, words and actions at times leave me feeling out in the cold.  While most of the time, I find myself minorly irritated with atheists, secularists and liberals  (whatever those words may mean), I find myself regularly and down-right disgusted with people calling themselves Christians.  I had an hour-long, in-depth conversation with a Christian earlier this week where, in his opinion, I may as well have been an atheist.  It didn’t make me feel great.

A lot of these feelings and thoughts, concerning both Christians and “the other guys”, have been brought to light again by the recent decisions concerning gay marriage in certain states.  I will start there, because there are several thoughts that I think are relevant, thoughts that walk the line between the two sides, may even support both.

First, to those who say that no one has the right to tell them how to live their lives, or which lifestyle to choose, I will say this: Yes, they absolutely do.  At least on the national stage, they do.  That’s the kind of country we live in.  There’s an issue, the people vote, and a decision is made.

Majority rules.  That’s the way voting works.

For example, I could say “You don’t have the right to tell me who will be my leader for the next four years!”  And I would be wrong.  Because you absolutely do have that right, on the national stage.  I did not vote for Obama.  But there was an issue, the people voted, and a decision was made.  And guess what?  Obama is in the White House.  I exercised my right, as did the people.  The people won.  I accept that.  That’s the way the national community works.  If I don’t like it, I also have the right to go to a different community. 

Now, secondly, do I believe the government should be the final say on the issue of gay marriage?  No, I do not.  For a lot of reasons (namely, it’s a moral issue, and the government is not the final authority on moral issues) that I won’t go into detail with here.  I could mention God here, but we all know how messy that gets.  And I am fully aware that some would dismiss my argument based solely on the fact that I believe in God.  They would say I am biased because I believe in God.  Well, that’s a two-way street, and I could say they are biased because they are homosexual.  But I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to dismiss anyone (pssst….that’s kind of the point of this article butdon’ttellanyonek?shhhhhh)

Next, to those who would say “I just want to have the same rights that everyone else has,” I will say this:  You do.  Forget the moral issue behind the argument for a second, and focus on the argument itself.  You have exactly the same rights that I have, and I have no rights that you do not.  I have no right to marry another man, any more than you do.  It is a profoundly flawed argument.  You are not asking for the same rights; in fact, you are asking for decidedly different rights.  It is the same as the people who are constantly crying about equality: they don’t really want equality, they want superiority and entitlement. 

Now (and here is where it gets grey, folks)…here is my problem, my dilemma:  thanks to my home city and my home church, I have lots of experience with people from all walks of life.  I have, first hand, seen heterosexual parents who are absolutely awful to their children.  Beat them.  Abuse them, verbally and physically.  Neglect them.  I have seen this.  I have also seen homosexual parents who any kid would, honestly, be lucky to have.  These parents treated their child like gold, showered them with love, cared for them, and in general were not only wonderful people, but firm and loving parents.  Now, how can I, as someone who believes in God, and who, at the foundation, believes that homosexuality is wrong…how can I point at the heterosexual couple who abuses their kid and say “This is right!”, then turn around and point to the homosexual couple who absolutely loves their kid and say “This is wrong!”…?

I can’t.  I just can’t do it.

Which, I guess, leads me to my point. 

It’s funny that the same people who say “How dare you tell me I’m wrong?” can turn around and say to any Christian that they meet, “You’re wrong!”  It’s also funny that people can claim the name of Christ (with all the love and grace that entails) then turn around and treat others who don’t believe exactly the same way (including other Christians) with hate, malice and condescension. 

The point is this:  We’re not all the same.

Christians are not all the same any more than all homosexuals are the same.  All homosexuals are not all the same any more than all atheists are the same.  And all atheists are not all the same any more than all Christians are the same. 

My core belief is not likely to change.  But my core belief is not going to affect how I treat people.  I would be absolutely sincere by saying to a person “You’re wrong”, and then saying “I love you.”  Since when did saying “You’re wrong” or at the very least “I disagree” become a hate-crime?  Since when is that hateful?   

Parents tell their children that they’re wrong all the time.  Employers do the same to their employees.  And so do good friends say it to each other, if need be.  How does that imply hate?

That being said, there is a lot of hate being thrown around, and I guess that’s my other point: We’re not interested in disagreeing.  We’re not interested in opening a dialogue.  No one is.  Neither side.  We’re interested in being right, at the expense of all else. 

And I can’t condone that any more than I can condone homosexuality or the way the church has treated them. 

Everyone is wrong.

I love you.