Social Commentary II: Hate

*Be warned, there is language in the following blog; not my own.

Hopefully this will be short and sweet.  Because honestly, this will serve as a bridge between parts I and III.

A few months ago, there was an uproar about comments made by Dan Cathy of Chick-fil-a, regarding the company’s and his family’s stance on marriage.  The quote is as follows:

"We are very much supportive of the family - the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.”

Do a google search about this subject, and you will find nothing but articles titled basically the same thing:

“CHICK-FIL-A SLAMS GAY MARRIAGE”

And there was a veritable storm of tweets by celebrities and status updates on Facebook on the subject, examples of which follow:

"Hate mongers! Never again! Not another $ from me”

"Goodbye Chikkk-fil-a! your food was delicious, but I can no longer eat nuggets filled with hate!"

That’s the first example.

Let’s step back a couple years.  Carrie Prejean is up for Miss USA, and prompted with a question on the subject of gay marriage, she says this:

“Well I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and that’s how I think that it should be between a man and a woman.”

Prejean was subsequently attacked and slandered verbally, the most vile of the responses coming from the very person who asked the question, Perez Hilton.  First, he called her a “dumb bitch”.  Then he retracted his statement and apologized, only to come back and say “I didn’t mean to call her a bitch, I meant to call her a c*nt.”

Prejean had this to say in response to her attacker:

“I can only say to him that I will be praying for him. I feel sorry for him, I really do,” Prejean said. “I think he’s angry, I think he’s hurt. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. He asked me specifically what my opinion was on that subject and I gave him an honest answer…”

All of this is documented.  Don’t take my word for it.  Go Google it for yourself.

That’s the second example.

Hate.

As I said in the previous blog, part I…forget the topic itself for a moment.  Forget that we are talking about gay marriage.  Replace the topic with anything you’d like. 

And you know what?  While we’re at it, forget that Cathy and Prejean were specifically asked a question that was designed to discredit them. 

Just. Look. At. The words.

Compare the two sides.  Compare what Cathy said, to the words in response.  Compare what Prejean said with the words of her attackers.

Go ahead and read it all again.  I’ll wait.

...

I honestly don’t know how to continue because I’m just dumbfounded. 

These people are accused of spreading hate, because they answered a question honestly. 

Because they voiced their opinions, when asked to do so.

Because those opinions were different from those of others. 

This.

Is where we are heading.

What is one supposed to do when asked a question, a question specifically designed to act as a weapon?   

What does one do when, after answering that question honestly, they are accused of spreading hate?

From the reactions, you would think Cathy and Prejean had called for an out-right extermination of homosexual people.  Genocide. 

But they didn’t even answer in a negative way.  They answered positively, affirming their own belief, and not speaking negatively of the beliefs of others.  And when attacked, they responded just as positively and with as much grace and dignity as the situation allowed.

And they are the ones being accused of spreading hate.

Cathy and Prejean didn’t use questions as weapons.  They didn’t call anyone a bitch or a c*nt. 

The level of sheer absurdity in this argument is staggering to me.  To say that someone is spreading hate, to malign them publicly, simply for answering your question honestly, simply because they voiced an opinion that was different than yours...that is a level of insanity that my mind cannot grasp. 

Honestly, I have more respect for the argument for homosexual marriage than I do for the argument that someone who disagrees with you is spreading hate. 

Look at both sides of the argument again.  Research the words yourself.  And you tell me who is spreading hate, and who is not. 

What is one to do?  There is no way out of that situation. 

There is no recourse…

Coming next: Social Commentary III : Social Recourse

Social Commentary: Part I

 *Note: This was written several weeks ago, maybe several months.  I can't quite remember.  But there are two other parts to this entire train of thought that will come later.  But this is the foundation, and a good place to start.

I am writing this post on my home computer at 1 am, because these thoughts are weighing heavily on my mind.  I would like to assure all who read the following, on both sides of the argument, that this is not a grand-stand to broadcast my belief one way or the other, but an honest exploration of the issue, as it appears to me.  I will make some statements.  I will ask some questions.  Because writing is how I learn.  It is how I grow.  It is how I explore my own thoughts and feelings on any particular matter.  And it is, hopefully, an opportunity for me to explore others thoughts and feelings as well.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am less than thrilled with the state of modern Christianity.  Anne Rice, an author who I admire, not only for her technical ability but also for her insight, made a statement once that has stuck in my mind ever since I first read it:  “Christ is, and always will be, infinitely more important than Christianity.”  I am not ashamed to say that I do, in fact, believe in Jesus Christ as the creator, savior, and redeemer of our world.  But when I think of aligning myself with the majority of people who make up the thing today known as Christianity, I feel…something like shame.  I share some of the same beliefs with these people, of course.  But their methods, words and actions at times leave me feeling out in the cold.  While most of the time, I find myself minorly irritated with atheists, secularists and liberals  (whatever those words may mean), I find myself regularly and down-right disgusted with people calling themselves Christians.  I had an hour-long, in-depth conversation with a Christian earlier this week where, in his opinion, I may as well have been an atheist.  It didn’t make me feel great.

A lot of these feelings and thoughts, concerning both Christians and “the other guys”, have been brought to light again by the recent decisions concerning gay marriage in certain states.  I will start there, because there are several thoughts that I think are relevant, thoughts that walk the line between the two sides, may even support both.

First, to those who say that no one has the right to tell them how to live their lives, or which lifestyle to choose, I will say this: Yes, they absolutely do.  At least on the national stage, they do.  That’s the kind of country we live in.  There’s an issue, the people vote, and a decision is made.

Majority rules.  That’s the way voting works.

For example, I could say “You don’t have the right to tell me who will be my leader for the next four years!”  And I would be wrong.  Because you absolutely do have that right, on the national stage.  I did not vote for Obama.  But there was an issue, the people voted, and a decision was made.  And guess what?  Obama is in the White House.  I exercised my right, as did the people.  The people won.  I accept that.  That’s the way the national community works.  If I don’t like it, I also have the right to go to a different community. 

Now, secondly, do I believe the government should be the final say on the issue of gay marriage?  No, I do not.  For a lot of reasons (namely, it’s a moral issue, and the government is not the final authority on moral issues) that I won’t go into detail with here.  I could mention God here, but we all know how messy that gets.  And I am fully aware that some would dismiss my argument based solely on the fact that I believe in God.  They would say I am biased because I believe in God.  Well, that’s a two-way street, and I could say they are biased because they are homosexual.  But I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to dismiss anyone (pssst….that’s kind of the point of this article butdon’ttellanyonek?shhhhhh)

Next, to those who would say “I just want to have the same rights that everyone else has,” I will say this:  You do.  Forget the moral issue behind the argument for a second, and focus on the argument itself.  You have exactly the same rights that I have, and I have no rights that you do not.  I have no right to marry another man, any more than you do.  It is a profoundly flawed argument.  You are not asking for the same rights; in fact, you are asking for decidedly different rights.  It is the same as the people who are constantly crying about equality: they don’t really want equality, they want superiority and entitlement. 

Now (and here is where it gets grey, folks)…here is my problem, my dilemma:  thanks to my home city and my home church, I have lots of experience with people from all walks of life.  I have, first hand, seen heterosexual parents who are absolutely awful to their children.  Beat them.  Abuse them, verbally and physically.  Neglect them.  I have seen this.  I have also seen homosexual parents who any kid would, honestly, be lucky to have.  These parents treated their child like gold, showered them with love, cared for them, and in general were not only wonderful people, but firm and loving parents.  Now, how can I, as someone who believes in God, and who, at the foundation, believes that homosexuality is wrong…how can I point at the heterosexual couple who abuses their kid and say “This is right!”, then turn around and point to the homosexual couple who absolutely loves their kid and say “This is wrong!”…?

I can’t.  I just can’t do it.

Which, I guess, leads me to my point. 

It’s funny that the same people who say “How dare you tell me I’m wrong?” can turn around and say to any Christian that they meet, “You’re wrong!”  It’s also funny that people can claim the name of Christ (with all the love and grace that entails) then turn around and treat others who don’t believe exactly the same way (including other Christians) with hate, malice and condescension. 

The point is this:  We’re not all the same.

Christians are not all the same any more than all homosexuals are the same.  All homosexuals are not all the same any more than all atheists are the same.  And all atheists are not all the same any more than all Christians are the same. 

My core belief is not likely to change.  But my core belief is not going to affect how I treat people.  I would be absolutely sincere by saying to a person “You’re wrong”, and then saying “I love you.”  Since when did saying “You’re wrong” or at the very least “I disagree” become a hate-crime?  Since when is that hateful?   

Parents tell their children that they’re wrong all the time.  Employers do the same to their employees.  And so do good friends say it to each other, if need be.  How does that imply hate?

That being said, there is a lot of hate being thrown around, and I guess that’s my other point: We’re not interested in disagreeing.  We’re not interested in opening a dialogue.  No one is.  Neither side.  We’re interested in being right, at the expense of all else. 

And I can’t condone that any more than I can condone homosexuality or the way the church has treated them. 

Everyone is wrong.

I love you.

6 Reasons I have hope for the future of music

I could wax poetic for a long, long time about how much music means to me. But there’s really no point, because it’s one of those things you either understand or you don’t. I don’t have to tell you how much music can enrich you, move you, or make you feel like you can absolutely conquer the world. I don’t have to tell you how vital it is to being alive, because you already know. It’s one of those things that everybody quietly knows in their inside internal innards. And while the passion for music is common to most, a single song can mean a hundred different things to a hundred different people, and it doesn’t matter, because when you step into a concert venue and you become part of the crowd, you look around and you realize that these people are here because there are passionate about the exact thing about which you are passionate, and there is just nothing else like that in the world. There’s a quiet understanding that passes between the members of the crowd. And you can all get swept up in it together.

While I think a lot of music released today will fall by the wayside, I think there are a handful of bands and musicians that we will look back on in twenty or thirty years and say, “Man, that was some good music.” When we turn into parents, old men or women, these are the bands that I think will stick in my brain, these are the bands I think will last. They are the new Queen, the new Stones. They are our Led Zeppelin, our Beatles. These are the bands that I think will join the heritage that will be passed down through the years in the lofty halls of rock music legend. And I’m glad I’m alive to experience a small part of that legacy.

1. FALL OUT BOY – I wasn’t a fan of FOB when they first broke on the worldwide music scene. I was aware of them, had heard a couple of their songs and liked those songs, but they were always on the fringe of my music world. It wasn’t until their music career had reached an apparently destructive popularity that I actually sat down and listened to one of their albums. That album was Folie a Deux. I’ve sung its praises before, and I will do it again. Not only was this the album that utterly convinced me of this band’s potential to go down in history for being brilliant songwriters, it is now one my favorites ever. It’s one of the best albums I’ve ever heard. It’s ironic that the moment I started really being excited for this band that they decided to step out of the spotlight for a while. The members are all doing their own respective things right now, but I hope that they will continue to make music together. A future with no new Fall Out Boy would be disappointing.

2. MUSE – I was a fan of Muse before they blew up and everyone knew who they were (insert cred points here). I don’t say that to pat myself on the back, but to make a point: It’s great to see an extremely talented, hard-working and amazing live band get the credit that they deserve. I guess it’s because the UK, and Americans impressions of the UK, are under a stranglehold by that other British band (What’s their name again…? Radio something…?), but I feel like Muse was overshadowed for a long time before they and their fans made enough noise for the rest of the world and the critics to finally sit up and take notice. I had the pleasure to see Muse as an opening act, and they almost (but not quite) stole the show. But more on that later. Not only does this band make stunning music, but if you’re a fan and you haven’t seen these guys live, you’re missing out. I can’t wait to see them headline. I hope I get to someday.

3. COHEED AND CAMBRIA – Three words come to mind when I think of this band: Impressive, impressive and impressive. It might be the fact that prog rock will always have a special place in my musical heart, but I feel these guys are not only the heirs to the progressive dynasty of Rush and Iron Maiden, I think that CO&CA have made that dynasty all their own and surpassed their forebears, at least in my head. It’s funny, because Coheed fans are like a covert organization – you never really know how widespread they are, and just how much they have infiltrated the music world. On the surface it doesn’t seem like Coheed is all that popular, but there are tons of Coheed fans out there (and you’d do well to remember that before you blaspheme). Not only are their technical skills second to none, they consistently write great records with darkly catchy songs that stick with you. They’ve built a saga, and I am anxious to see, and hear, the next chapter.

4. THIRTY SECONDS TO MARS – There are a lot of reasons I love 30STM. They are one of those bands that will make you believe in the power of music again. But their innovation in their relationship to their fans is probably the one that stands out the most. They routinely include their fans in their videos, invite them out to special events (like a mass bike ride to the Grammy’s), and even gathered them together for special recording sessions, officially making the fans part of the finished product of their latest record, This Is War. Also, in a musical climate where music videos are perfunctory, 30STM continues to do things differently, making short films that tell surreal stories, instead of just music videos. 30STM is one of the most daring bands out there, and it’s all backed up by some truly incredible songs. I had the chance to see them live in Toronto, Canada shortly after their new record released, and it’s one of the most memorable musical experiences of my life. The sheer passion and power they display and encourage the crowd to take part in during the course of their show is astounding and contagious. And the thing is, I don’t think they’ve reached their full potential yet, which makes me very optimistic for their next release.

5. LINKIN PARK – I’ve been a fan of Linkin Park from the start, during the whole Nu Metal thing (Limp Bizkit Ya’ll). Those days make me shiver in embarrassment and hide my face in shame. Except in this one instance. Linkin Park survived. They grew up, they matured, and continued to evolve. Most bands release their best work first and spend the rest of their careers trying to live up to their own premature reputation. Linkin Park earned it the hard way. Did I love their old stuff when it came out? Yes, I did. And I still think it’s good, and pop it on every once in a while. But it was like a summer popcorn flick. Fun, but not really any lasting substance. I’m thankful that LP passed that phase and continue to evolve. Their latest work, A Thousand Suns, has solidified them in my mind as one of those rare bands that transcend themselves and their roots to become true artists. A Thousand Suns is my favorite LP record to date, and the band’s most cohesive musical and artistic statement, and I am nothing but excited to see where they go next.

6. MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE – Oh geez. What can I say about this band? I was hooked from the very first time I heard the song “Helena” in my good friend’s dorm room. Not only did the song immediately grip me as something familiar but quite different than anything I had ever heard before, but the video absolutely captivated me, beginning an excellent standard of theatrical flair that the band continues to employ to this day, with amazing results each time. I remember the first time I heard the title song from The Black Parade, and my jaw dropped. I remember going to the mall with my college buddies to get The Black Parade on the day it released, and listening to The End on the drive back. I remember the day I saw them live, performing the entire album front to back. All of these moments stand out in my mind as truly amazing. The band continues to surprise me with pretty much everything they do, and that surprise inevitably turns to a wide grin as I realize that, once again, they’ve created something that will live forever in my musical spirit. Their latest, Danger Days, is no different, and it quickly became one of my favorite records, and spawning what are arguably my favorite MCR songs (although Welcome to the Black Parade is something that I don’t think anything will ever touch). I’m pretty much chomping at the bit to see what these guys do next, and I’m hoping and praying there will be at least one more release from them.

HONORABLE MENTION

GREEN DAY – Speaking of evolution, these guys were rock legends already by the time they released what I believe to be their two best records: American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown. They had one career and solidified themselves as punk rock legends. Then they kind of dropped off on the map, only to come back revitalized and with a new sense of urgency, catapulting themselves to greater heights than they had ever reached before, showing that they had matured musically, but still had the same spirit.

TOOL – I won’t say a lot about this one, because they’ve already secured their place in the pantheon of rock gods. Why am I mentioning them here? Because they’re the only band I can think of that has achieved that status and is still making music (other than Metallica). Not that this entry was obligatory, but there’s really not much else to be said that I haven’t said before.

AVENGED SEVENFOLD – There are some bands that are irrefutably good, regardless of taste. This is one such band. The members of Ax7 are extremely skilled musicians, talented songwriters, and staggering performers. I don’t like their music. It’s just never clicked with me. I don’t know why that is, because I feel like it should have by now. But it hasn’t. Nevertheless, I have no problem saying something is good, even if it doesn’t suit my personal taste. Ax7 is a good band, and they deserve to be mentioned here.