Hey.
It's me, I'm sorry it's so late.
But I couldn't sleep.
This weekend was a good weekend. I guess when I say weekend, I mean the last four days. I had Thursday and Friday off for the Holiday. Thursday was reserved for family of course, to celebrate our blessings together and the one year anniversary of my father's heart-surgery. We played poker (I won), and Mad Gab (I won both times, albeit with different partners).
Friday was another open mic night at Coffee Fusion. It was okay, kind of embarrassing (not for me, for others, being watched by me, but they were just young kids, so you kind of have to cut them a break). My songs were as follows:
Beggars -Thrice
Red Sky - Thrice
Empty - Ray LaMontagne
Whiskey Lullaby - Don't even know the artist. But it was a duet between myself and my friend Madison Trainer.
Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron and Wine
Pictures and videos will be put up soon, and when they are, I will link to them.
After the mic night, several of us went to a cabin on Gilford Lake. Games and laughing and music and drinking ensued, but I had to leave early as I had plans the following morning.
Said plans were a trip to see New Moon (Good, much better than Twilight). We then ate at the Cadillac Ranch where I ordered Ranch Mac and Cheese (so good I almost punched the waitress in the face when she tried to take it away before I was finished...okay, not really). Then it was back out to the cabin for me, to spend Saturday evening through Sunday morning.
Walks were taken, lakes were jumped in at below freezing tempatures (by yours truly and one other brave soul), runs were taken in haste back to the cabin to put on clothes and thaw myself in front of the fireplace. Philosophical conversations were had on the dock at 2 a.m., and then since all the beds were taken, I stretched out in front of the smoldering remains of the fire and fell asleep, which was a little glimpse of heaven as far as I'm concerned.
You know, I have almost come to be reluctant about the highs in life, because they are inevitably followed by lows. Like right now. I can't sleep. The weekend is over. I'm alone. And I have to get up in roughly five hours to go back to work. And you know what I'm going to do when I'm done with work? Go home. Alone. And do it all over again until Saturday.
The book continues to grow and take on a life of its own, and the journey, both of the characters and the process of writing it, is nearing its final leg. I have never felt more passionately about anything as I do about this story.
I suppose I'll leave you with this:
Pessimism is what Optimists call Realism.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Snoopy sticker on my laptop is wearing off (How things are right now)
I'm not sure when my last post was, but suffice it to say, it was too long ago. Life ticks by the days and sometimes these things get left in the wayside, even though they are extremely important (I have let down my millions of blog-readers).
Well, folks, I'm back. Get ready.
I have nothing philosophical or deep to say in this post, other than to catch you up on what's been going on in my life.
Well, I met a girl...
HAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha....oh boy, that was fun.
No, for real, there is no girl.
Most of what's been going on in my life revolves around music, actually. I started a new job, which is why I haven't been blogging as much, but that job is barely worth mentioning, as it is probably the least important part of my life right now, other than the fact that it pays the bills. I go in, do my time, then forget about it before my body hits the seat in my car for the drive home. I am thankful for it, however. It is a good thing to have a job in these times.
Probably the coolest development in my life as of late is the beginning of a local open mic night which was started by some friends and myself at a downtown coffee shop. Until the point I walked into the place to perform, I hadn't even been aware of its existence, but it's actually a pretty nice place, and if you're ever in the East Liverpool, Ohio area on a Saturday night around 7, you should hunt down Coffee Fusion and come see me.
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The people who run the coffee shop liked it so much that they talked to us about doing it on a regular basis, which is very exciting. I really enjoy performing (except for the occasional nerves) and look forward to future evenings spent there, even if the only people who show up are my friends and I.
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I performed two songs: "Intensity in Ten Cities" from the album Bone Palace Ballet, by Chiodos, and "Beggars", the title track from the new Thrice record. If you're interested in seeing a video of my first performance, go here:
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Also on the subject of music, I attended the Polar Bear Club/The Dear Hunter/Thrice show this past Sunday at the Deisel Club Lounge in Pittsburgh, PA. Great show, horrible venue. But, The Dear Hunter surprised me in a really, really good way, and Thrice was as amazing as ever. My respect and admiration for those guys is boundless. I hope to post a review of the show and some pictures along with it sometime very soon.
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What else? The usual festive autumn stuff: carving pumpkins (pictures on their way), trip to Cedar Point for Halloweekends (a tradition for the Clark siblings and crew). I've also been writing a LOT. I'm working on a group of short stories that have been nagging me for quite some time. So I'm taking a break from the book (which is about 60-70% complete) to clear the backlog of stories in my head, and after I'm done with that, back to the novel.
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Oh, and I have begun reviewing records, the first of which is Creed's new record, Full Circle. You can find the review here:
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You can also find a lot of information about getting a band on its feet, so you should check it out, it's an all around cool site. Breakthroughband.com
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I'm just realizing how much catching up I have to do. Hope you stick with me while I get back into it. I hope to have a flurry of activity on this blog, so stay tuned.
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Currently Reading or Recently Read:
A Canticle for Leibowitz - Walter M. Miller, Jr. (Interesting, but not great, and a bit strange)
The Affinity Bridge - George Mann (Cool story, poorly written)
The Dark Knight Returns - Frank Miller (Excellent)
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Currently listening:
Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Night Castle
In Fear and Faith - Your World On Fire
Emery - ...In Shallow Seas We Sail
The Dear Hunter - Everything
The Gaslight Anthem - The '59 Sound
Oh, Sleeper - Son of the Morning
Ray LaMontagne - Gossip In The Grain
Monday, September 14, 2009
In case anyone is interested.
Awhile ago, I posted a blog about what is, in my opinion, one of the best songs ever written: Tool's "Lateralus".
Here is a review of the entire album, albeit from a stoner's perspective:
http://www.metalsucks.net/2009/06/19/12-tool-lateralus/
It made number 12 of 21 on their list of top metal albums of the 21st century.
From a band that until recently was my favorite band ever, came an album that defined and inspired me for many years, sonically and lyrically.
I think you can tell a lot about a person from the things they like, and especially the music that inspires them. This may be a glimpse into my psyche, if, as the title suggests, any of you are interested.
Here is a review of the entire album, albeit from a stoner's perspective:
http://www.metalsucks.net/2009/06/19/12-tool-lateralus/
It made number 12 of 21 on their list of top metal albums of the 21st century.
From a band that until recently was my favorite band ever, came an album that defined and inspired me for many years, sonically and lyrically.
I think you can tell a lot about a person from the things they like, and especially the music that inspires them. This may be a glimpse into my psyche, if, as the title suggests, any of you are interested.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
THE BANQUET
Rumors went out through the streets of the city
Of a banquet set by the King
My brothers and I, were the first ones in line
So we wouldn’t miss a thing
They opened the gates of pearl and gold
And at the table we took our seats
Then the King entered and in his presence
We all began to eat
When the meal was over, the King raised a glass
And he gave a toast to the night
Then my blood ran cold and shivered my soul
As he leveled me in his sight
The King passed the cup round the table and said,
“Welcome, friends, all, to my home.
Though the moon becomes high and night becomes late,
I must tell you a tale ‘fore you go.”
Then he told us a story of deceit and betrayal
And a shudder swept through the room
But before we could ask, “My Lord, is it I?”
He said, “The traitor lies among you.”
Then all of us there began turning our heads
And looked round the room to see
But when my turn came to drink from the cup
I realized the traitor was me
Tears streamed down my face and I hung my head
Then I felt the good King draw near
He kneeled before me and wrapped me in His arms
And he whispered this in my ear:
“My child, my son, wipe clear your eyes
Weep no longer for your soul
I set this meal and invited you here
My son, you were forgiven long ago.”
Of a banquet set by the King
My brothers and I, were the first ones in line
So we wouldn’t miss a thing
They opened the gates of pearl and gold
And at the table we took our seats
Then the King entered and in his presence
We all began to eat
When the meal was over, the King raised a glass
And he gave a toast to the night
Then my blood ran cold and shivered my soul
As he leveled me in his sight
The King passed the cup round the table and said,
“Welcome, friends, all, to my home.
Though the moon becomes high and night becomes late,
I must tell you a tale ‘fore you go.”
Then he told us a story of deceit and betrayal
And a shudder swept through the room
But before we could ask, “My Lord, is it I?”
He said, “The traitor lies among you.”
Then all of us there began turning our heads
And looked round the room to see
But when my turn came to drink from the cup
I realized the traitor was me
Tears streamed down my face and I hung my head
Then I felt the good King draw near
He kneeled before me and wrapped me in His arms
And he whispered this in my ear:
“My child, my son, wipe clear your eyes
Weep no longer for your soul
I set this meal and invited you here
My son, you were forgiven long ago.”
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Tide
It is said that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
If this is true, then I have been insane for awhile.
How does one change? How does one truly alter a way of thinking?
For the longest time, I have accepted life as it is. I have allowed certain things to become the status quo. I keep doing the same things, acting the same way, thinking the same way, and then turn around and ask myself incredulously: "Why is nothing getting better? Where is that thing I keep expecting to come along to make things better?"
Why?
Because it's comfortable. Because it's convenient. Because it suits me. Because I have used the excuse that it is who I am. I have fooled myself into thinking that everything I do extends directly from my personality and the kind of person I have become. And as I have fooled myself, I have become a fool.
Part of the problem is that we have these ideas about ourselves, these pictures of who we want to be, who we fancy ourselves to be. And we get used to viewing ourselves that way. We operate in this fantastical realm of self where who we are is who we want to be. And somewhere along the way we convince ourselves that this is who we are right now. We wear a disguise, a disguise so good, that it even fools ourselves, and we fail to see that this picture of ourselves is far from reality.
If we were to take a look at our lives, a real look, an honest look, we would have to admit that who we think we are, and who we are in reality are two very different things. Like Neo after he wakes from the Matrix into the real world, he must deal with the "residual self-image" and face the reality of what he is.
But we don't want to do that. Because it's uncomfortable. Because it's difficult. Because we might have to...change.
It's not just habits. It's thoughts. And if you sow a thought, you reap an action. Sow an action, you reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, and you reap a destiny. And when we fail to change our thoughts, we wonder why our destiny hasn't altered one bit.
"Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..."
Who we are is the most powerful tool we possess in order to make of our life what it should be. But the first step to that is to realize that the glorified picture we have of ourselves is not correct, and to wait around for things to change, while in the meantime we change nothing, is foolish.
We aren't locked into who we are. We can change. We can become. We are not merely rafts tossed about on the sea of our personality.
For a long time I have lived with life being less than what I want it to be. I have shouted and shaken my fist at God, asking why things aren't getting better. But all the while, I have been acting and thinking the exact same way. That must change. That will change. I have reached the point where I am frustrated with being frustrated. I am tired of being tired of life.
I could let it go on. I could sit and do nothing, like I have done. I could wallow in who I am and what I want. I could wait around for things to change, and undoubtedly, some good things would happen, some bad things would happen. That's just life. But to get to where I want to be I have to BE who I should be.
If I change nothing in my life, then life will never change.
If this is true, then I have been insane for awhile.
How does one change? How does one truly alter a way of thinking?
For the longest time, I have accepted life as it is. I have allowed certain things to become the status quo. I keep doing the same things, acting the same way, thinking the same way, and then turn around and ask myself incredulously: "Why is nothing getting better? Where is that thing I keep expecting to come along to make things better?"
Why?
Because it's comfortable. Because it's convenient. Because it suits me. Because I have used the excuse that it is who I am. I have fooled myself into thinking that everything I do extends directly from my personality and the kind of person I have become. And as I have fooled myself, I have become a fool.
Part of the problem is that we have these ideas about ourselves, these pictures of who we want to be, who we fancy ourselves to be. And we get used to viewing ourselves that way. We operate in this fantastical realm of self where who we are is who we want to be. And somewhere along the way we convince ourselves that this is who we are right now. We wear a disguise, a disguise so good, that it even fools ourselves, and we fail to see that this picture of ourselves is far from reality.
If we were to take a look at our lives, a real look, an honest look, we would have to admit that who we think we are, and who we are in reality are two very different things. Like Neo after he wakes from the Matrix into the real world, he must deal with the "residual self-image" and face the reality of what he is.
But we don't want to do that. Because it's uncomfortable. Because it's difficult. Because we might have to...change.
It's not just habits. It's thoughts. And if you sow a thought, you reap an action. Sow an action, you reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, and you reap a destiny. And when we fail to change our thoughts, we wonder why our destiny hasn't altered one bit.
"Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..."
Who we are is the most powerful tool we possess in order to make of our life what it should be. But the first step to that is to realize that the glorified picture we have of ourselves is not correct, and to wait around for things to change, while in the meantime we change nothing, is foolish.
We aren't locked into who we are. We can change. We can become. We are not merely rafts tossed about on the sea of our personality.
For a long time I have lived with life being less than what I want it to be. I have shouted and shaken my fist at God, asking why things aren't getting better. But all the while, I have been acting and thinking the exact same way. That must change. That will change. I have reached the point where I am frustrated with being frustrated. I am tired of being tired of life.
I could let it go on. I could sit and do nothing, like I have done. I could wallow in who I am and what I want. I could wait around for things to change, and undoubtedly, some good things would happen, some bad things would happen. That's just life. But to get to where I want to be I have to BE who I should be.
If I change nothing in my life, then life will never change.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Thoughts Amidst The Sniffles (I have a cold)
The summer wanes, and the first hints of Fall begin to settle in over my particular region of Ohio. You ever notice that you can smell a season change? One day you wake up and it just doesn't smell like summer anymore. It's in the air, coming from that factory from which God makes seasons, but only four per year.
Well one morning this past week I woke up and stepped outside and fall was in the air. The sun was still bright, the sky was clear, but you can just tell. Though it is only September, we had a very mild summer, and thus I expected an early fall. The past three days have been cooler, and it has officially become the kind of weather in which you can wear a hoodie AND shorts and be perfectly comfortable. It is my favorite kind of weather. No surprise, for a was born in October, and thus am an autumn person, in many ways.
You see, fall is an in-between season, a time of change, a saying of goodbyes and a waving of hellos, and a settling into the long winter ahead. It is somewhat melancholy, yet bright and clear and crisp and refreshing and beautiful. Those of you who know me, know this is analogous to my personality. But more than that, it seems to be a metaphor for this particular stage in the life of yours truly.
I was reminded today at dinner with my parents and my recently married sister that I will be turning the grand age of twenty-five in just over a month. That number seems to me to be unreal. I am in my mid-twenties. I am halfway to fifty. This doesn't seem like it should be.
I recently purchases the latest release by Rise Against, a band that I am familiar with from the times in 315 where my roommate Jamie would play them. As I type I remember those days fondly. Which is perfect, because that's what this blog is about. Remembering.
The time has come for turning. Change is here and I seem to be in the in-between. Not in college but not in the routine of life just yet. I haven't found a permanent place, and I can't say that's a bad thing to me. And as fall is a somewhat wistful time, so this is a wistful period in my life, one where I long and yearn for the days past, days with my friends in Virginia.
And, again, as with autumn, I feel the approach of the winter of my life, one spent away from them, away from Virginia and all the goings-on there, away from the atmosphere of Campus Church and Liberty University, away from pursuing the things I want to learn. But that time is past.
I mentioned I purchased the Rise Against record, and on it is a song entitled "Audience of One." Some of the lyrics are as follows:
I brought down the sky for you
but all you did was shrug
You gave my emptiness a name
But you ranaway
Now all my friends gone
Maybe weve outgrown
all the things that we once loved
I won't try to explain exactly what those mean to me. It's something, like the coming of fall, that you just...know. It's in the air. Some people will look on your life and turn the other way, completely oblivious, or willingly careless. Some people will come alongside you. Some people will be held fondly in your memories forever.
But when the time comes for turning, it is a turning within, one that must be faced by yourself, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, either.
But it sure would be nice to have some company to take a walk through the falling leaves.
But God's factory at the edge of the world keeps cranking out those seasons, in weather and in life, and I guess this is me realizing that one season is coming to a close and another is beginning. And I'm melancholy, excited, a little nervous, confident, a bit lonely, a little sad, and mostly...content.
Basically, I'm everything I should be.
So, in the words of my friend, comrade, prayer minion, hallmate, fellow-member-of-the-golden-age-of-22-3, guitar hero god, magic card wizard, yankees fan and the former official voice of the Colonie, New York little league, Bill Monthie: "Alright. I've said what I needed to say. Now SCRAM."
Well one morning this past week I woke up and stepped outside and fall was in the air. The sun was still bright, the sky was clear, but you can just tell. Though it is only September, we had a very mild summer, and thus I expected an early fall. The past three days have been cooler, and it has officially become the kind of weather in which you can wear a hoodie AND shorts and be perfectly comfortable. It is my favorite kind of weather. No surprise, for a was born in October, and thus am an autumn person, in many ways.
You see, fall is an in-between season, a time of change, a saying of goodbyes and a waving of hellos, and a settling into the long winter ahead. It is somewhat melancholy, yet bright and clear and crisp and refreshing and beautiful. Those of you who know me, know this is analogous to my personality. But more than that, it seems to be a metaphor for this particular stage in the life of yours truly.
I was reminded today at dinner with my parents and my recently married sister that I will be turning the grand age of twenty-five in just over a month. That number seems to me to be unreal. I am in my mid-twenties. I am halfway to fifty. This doesn't seem like it should be.
I recently purchases the latest release by Rise Against, a band that I am familiar with from the times in 315 where my roommate Jamie would play them. As I type I remember those days fondly. Which is perfect, because that's what this blog is about. Remembering.
The time has come for turning. Change is here and I seem to be in the in-between. Not in college but not in the routine of life just yet. I haven't found a permanent place, and I can't say that's a bad thing to me. And as fall is a somewhat wistful time, so this is a wistful period in my life, one where I long and yearn for the days past, days with my friends in Virginia.
And, again, as with autumn, I feel the approach of the winter of my life, one spent away from them, away from Virginia and all the goings-on there, away from the atmosphere of Campus Church and Liberty University, away from pursuing the things I want to learn. But that time is past.
I mentioned I purchased the Rise Against record, and on it is a song entitled "Audience of One." Some of the lyrics are as follows:
I brought down the sky for you
but all you did was shrug
You gave my emptiness a name
But you ranaway
Now all my friends gone
Maybe weve outgrown
all the things that we once loved
I won't try to explain exactly what those mean to me. It's something, like the coming of fall, that you just...know. It's in the air. Some people will look on your life and turn the other way, completely oblivious, or willingly careless. Some people will come alongside you. Some people will be held fondly in your memories forever.
But when the time comes for turning, it is a turning within, one that must be faced by yourself, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, either.
But it sure would be nice to have some company to take a walk through the falling leaves.
But God's factory at the edge of the world keeps cranking out those seasons, in weather and in life, and I guess this is me realizing that one season is coming to a close and another is beginning. And I'm melancholy, excited, a little nervous, confident, a bit lonely, a little sad, and mostly...content.
Basically, I'm everything I should be.
So, in the words of my friend, comrade, prayer minion, hallmate, fellow-member-of-the-golden-age-of-22-3, guitar hero god, magic card wizard, yankees fan and the former official voice of the Colonie, New York little league, Bill Monthie: "Alright. I've said what I needed to say. Now SCRAM."
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The X-files: A Series In Review
Upon returning to Ohio towards the later part of May this year, I found myself in a quandry. The LOST series had recently ended for the season, and as that is really the only show I watch that is still in progress (I don't watch much TV, usually), I found myself in need of something else for my viewing pleasure. It is something of a habit of mine to watch an episode of something as I get ready for bed.
I wandered upstairs to my sister's room, and Lo, there was the complete X-files series on DVD, lined up in a neat little row on the shelf, ripe for the picking. It was settled. My summer would be an X-files summer.
Now, the X-files is one of those things that have always been there. I remember before I even moved to Ohio, when we still lived in Pennsylvania, sitting down to watch the pilot episode with my brother and sister. From then on, the X-files was a weekly staple. It became a part of the fabric of the Clark household, and part of the collective psyche between me and my siblings. The adventures of Mulder and Scully were things that were referred to often and with fondness. I went through junior high and high school watching the show.
At some point, probably around season 6, I stopped watching regularly, but still kept up with it, enough to know the basic gist of what was going on. That is, until I got busy with other things and stopped watching altogether somewhere along the latter part of season 8.
Well, last week I completed my X-files summer. Nine seasons and two feature films later, I am of the opinion that this series is far and away the best television show ever produced.
For those of you unfamiliar with the show, Special Agent Fox Mulder of the F.B.I. is something of a rogue, interested in the paranormal and unexplained cases, and as such is assigned the unit no one else wants: the X-files. His position in this unit is already established at the outset of the series. It is Special Agent Dana Scully who we see first enter the X-files. She is assigned there by her superiors because she is a rational scientist, sent to accompany Mulder as he investigates these phenomena, so that she may debunk Mulder and his paranormal theories with sound, rational and scientific facts.
Many of the episodes take the form of monster-of-the-week stories, Scully and Mulder hunting down various unexplained occurences, usually coming away with nothing conclusive. The rest of the episodes, the mythology episodes, deal with Mulder's past as he hunts for his sister, whom he believes was abducted by extraterrestrial beings when they both were children. This tragedy is what has led his life to the FBI, and the X-files.
Many of you might roll your eyes at this premise. Okay, that's fine. I freely admit that many of the episodes are outlandish, fantastical, even down-right silly. That's granted. That's not the reason I love this series so much. I could do without the monster-of-the-week episodes, because these episodes might have a cool or creepy idea to center around, but most of the time they don't develop the main plotline, or most importantly, the characters.
It is one of the tenants of story that plot does not make good characters. Good characters create plot. If I had to boil it down to one reason why I love the X-files series, it's because of the characters of Mulder and Scully.
It would be possible to look at the journeys of Mulder and Scully as two separate paths. But I won't do that here. Because I believe their journeys lie intertwined, and that's what makes them so powerful.
At the beginning of the series, Scully plays the foil to Mulder's belief, trying to dissuade him from leaps of faith when it comes to explanations for the cases which they investigate. Scully is a scientist, independent to the core, a rational thinker, was raised a Catholic, but since has strayed due to her scientific education and need for evidence in all things. Mulder is intuitive, a true believer, ready to believe any far-reaching, paranormal, or supernatural explanation. He is a man of faith in many things, not only a supreme being. He believes in the existence of extraterrestrial life, and his belief is what drives him and defines him, even when the facts are to the contrary.
It is hard to sum up how the characters get from point A to point B. But as Scully and Mulder pursue these cases together, Scully gradually begins to see things that her science and rationality will not explain, and Mulder's stubborn and ungiving faith begin to win her over.
I suppose the series could be summed up by the three recurring phrases that echo time and again throughout.
TRUST NO ONE.
I WANT TO BELIEVE.
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.
That last one, 9 times out of 10, graces the screen at the end of the introductory credits.
TRUST NO ONE - For a show all about conspiracies, misinformation, deceit and lies, this would seem a fitting phrase. However, the thing that makes this phrase so powerful, is, again, the journey that Mulder and Scully take together. Time after time they face down death together, saving each other's lives on numerous occasions, and eventually realize, when they are caught up together in a global conspiracy, that the only ones they can trust are each other. Scully's unyielding independence gradually softens, and she confides in Mulder in rare soft moments. Mulder's unflinching faith gets through to her, and she eventually takes on his cause, and he can finally let her in and trust her with everything.
I WANT TO BELIEVE - This phrase can be seen nearly every episode in the form of a poster hung in Mulder's office. It is, indeed, Mulder's faith that drives the X-files. But what happens when all evidence presented to you is contrary to what you know to be true? What happens when you can't tell the lies from the truth, and your friends from your enemies. See, it's not as easy as believing. Sometimes, you simply must say, I want to believe, because my desire to believe is all I have left. Mulder comes to this point so many times in the series, and it is Scully who holds him up, even she doesn't necessarily agree with him. She still encourages him to keep his faith and to never give up.
From the very beginning of the show, Scully wears a small gold cross around her neck, a symbol of the faith with which she was raised. Somewhere along the way, she lost that faith amidst the rational thought and scientific education that constituted her later life. But she never stopped wearing that cross. As the viewer watches her progression through the series, we see her rational personality crack, and Mulder's faith inspires her to rediscover her own, because her scientific explanations are no longer enough for what she has seen and experienced.
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE - Like any good story, the X-files is about Truth. Mulder's search for it, and Scully's gradual acceptance of it. What's so great about this phrase is that it admits that the truth is elusive, not easily found, but it does lie out there, somewhere, for those who are strong enough, brave enough, and have sufficient faith to find it. Mulder and Scully eventually do find it, together, a journey that they never could have made without the other. But even when they do find it, any evidence to prove it is destroyed and they are left with nothing but the knowledge that they are right. Sometimes, that is enough.
Mulder and Scully are superbly portrayed by David Duchovney and Gillian Anderson. Duchovney stayed with the series through season 7, then left, although his absence was written into the show, and he continues to appear in a few episodes leading up to the end of the series. Gillian Anderson starred in all nine seasons. (A side note: Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully just might be, in my opinion, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I could stare at her face for hours.)
To see these two act in the series is to see them become their characters, to the point where the viewer is familiar with them, can read their facial expressions, and feels their emotions. There are several moments when Gillian Anderson talks about Mulder after his disappearance, and the viewer believes that this is a real person. And when Gillian Anderson smiles, it's lights up the screen, because Scully is usually so stern and solemn. Likewise, Duchovney's sense of humor and wise-cracking is something I particularly appreciate about the series.
All in all, I guess you could say the X-files is a show about trust, faith, and the truth.
As Mulder and Scully take the journey together, their lives become intertwined, until they both realize that they cannot live without the other. Their journey from partners in the FBI, to confidants, to friends, and eventually to two people who realize that they cannot live without the other is inspiring. And makes this show about one more thing, above all.
It is a show about Love.
Real love. Devoted love. The kind of love that goes to bat for the other person, that sacrifices everything, including itself for the well-being and protection of the other.
The last entry in the series is the film THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE. There is a rumor of a third film, the last, that would be the end all of everything. But even if it doesn't get made, I am completely satisfied with where the characters of Mulder and Scully end. It leaves them on a good note. Not the best note. That's what I love about it. It's an ambiguous end that promises nothing. It merely says that for now, things are good.
The characters themselves sum it up best at the end of the film.
Mulder: "Go help the boy, and then we'll get out of here. You and me."
Scully: "Away from the darkness?"
Mulder: "I don't think it works that way. I don't think we find the darkness. I think the darkness finds us."
The X-files is a series that faces hard truths, real truths, about the existence of truth and the battle for it, about trusting each other along the way, about never giving up faith, and finding a love that will help you face the darkness that is ever present.
I wandered upstairs to my sister's room, and Lo, there was the complete X-files series on DVD, lined up in a neat little row on the shelf, ripe for the picking. It was settled. My summer would be an X-files summer.
Now, the X-files is one of those things that have always been there. I remember before I even moved to Ohio, when we still lived in Pennsylvania, sitting down to watch the pilot episode with my brother and sister. From then on, the X-files was a weekly staple. It became a part of the fabric of the Clark household, and part of the collective psyche between me and my siblings. The adventures of Mulder and Scully were things that were referred to often and with fondness. I went through junior high and high school watching the show.
At some point, probably around season 6, I stopped watching regularly, but still kept up with it, enough to know the basic gist of what was going on. That is, until I got busy with other things and stopped watching altogether somewhere along the latter part of season 8.
Well, last week I completed my X-files summer. Nine seasons and two feature films later, I am of the opinion that this series is far and away the best television show ever produced.
For those of you unfamiliar with the show, Special Agent Fox Mulder of the F.B.I. is something of a rogue, interested in the paranormal and unexplained cases, and as such is assigned the unit no one else wants: the X-files. His position in this unit is already established at the outset of the series. It is Special Agent Dana Scully who we see first enter the X-files. She is assigned there by her superiors because she is a rational scientist, sent to accompany Mulder as he investigates these phenomena, so that she may debunk Mulder and his paranormal theories with sound, rational and scientific facts.
Many of the episodes take the form of monster-of-the-week stories, Scully and Mulder hunting down various unexplained occurences, usually coming away with nothing conclusive. The rest of the episodes, the mythology episodes, deal with Mulder's past as he hunts for his sister, whom he believes was abducted by extraterrestrial beings when they both were children. This tragedy is what has led his life to the FBI, and the X-files.
Many of you might roll your eyes at this premise. Okay, that's fine. I freely admit that many of the episodes are outlandish, fantastical, even down-right silly. That's granted. That's not the reason I love this series so much. I could do without the monster-of-the-week episodes, because these episodes might have a cool or creepy idea to center around, but most of the time they don't develop the main plotline, or most importantly, the characters.
It is one of the tenants of story that plot does not make good characters. Good characters create plot. If I had to boil it down to one reason why I love the X-files series, it's because of the characters of Mulder and Scully.
It would be possible to look at the journeys of Mulder and Scully as two separate paths. But I won't do that here. Because I believe their journeys lie intertwined, and that's what makes them so powerful.
At the beginning of the series, Scully plays the foil to Mulder's belief, trying to dissuade him from leaps of faith when it comes to explanations for the cases which they investigate. Scully is a scientist, independent to the core, a rational thinker, was raised a Catholic, but since has strayed due to her scientific education and need for evidence in all things. Mulder is intuitive, a true believer, ready to believe any far-reaching, paranormal, or supernatural explanation. He is a man of faith in many things, not only a supreme being. He believes in the existence of extraterrestrial life, and his belief is what drives him and defines him, even when the facts are to the contrary.
It is hard to sum up how the characters get from point A to point B. But as Scully and Mulder pursue these cases together, Scully gradually begins to see things that her science and rationality will not explain, and Mulder's stubborn and ungiving faith begin to win her over.
I suppose the series could be summed up by the three recurring phrases that echo time and again throughout.
TRUST NO ONE.
I WANT TO BELIEVE.
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.
That last one, 9 times out of 10, graces the screen at the end of the introductory credits.
TRUST NO ONE - For a show all about conspiracies, misinformation, deceit and lies, this would seem a fitting phrase. However, the thing that makes this phrase so powerful, is, again, the journey that Mulder and Scully take together. Time after time they face down death together, saving each other's lives on numerous occasions, and eventually realize, when they are caught up together in a global conspiracy, that the only ones they can trust are each other. Scully's unyielding independence gradually softens, and she confides in Mulder in rare soft moments. Mulder's unflinching faith gets through to her, and she eventually takes on his cause, and he can finally let her in and trust her with everything.
I WANT TO BELIEVE - This phrase can be seen nearly every episode in the form of a poster hung in Mulder's office. It is, indeed, Mulder's faith that drives the X-files. But what happens when all evidence presented to you is contrary to what you know to be true? What happens when you can't tell the lies from the truth, and your friends from your enemies. See, it's not as easy as believing. Sometimes, you simply must say, I want to believe, because my desire to believe is all I have left. Mulder comes to this point so many times in the series, and it is Scully who holds him up, even she doesn't necessarily agree with him. She still encourages him to keep his faith and to never give up.
From the very beginning of the show, Scully wears a small gold cross around her neck, a symbol of the faith with which she was raised. Somewhere along the way, she lost that faith amidst the rational thought and scientific education that constituted her later life. But she never stopped wearing that cross. As the viewer watches her progression through the series, we see her rational personality crack, and Mulder's faith inspires her to rediscover her own, because her scientific explanations are no longer enough for what she has seen and experienced.
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE - Like any good story, the X-files is about Truth. Mulder's search for it, and Scully's gradual acceptance of it. What's so great about this phrase is that it admits that the truth is elusive, not easily found, but it does lie out there, somewhere, for those who are strong enough, brave enough, and have sufficient faith to find it. Mulder and Scully eventually do find it, together, a journey that they never could have made without the other. But even when they do find it, any evidence to prove it is destroyed and they are left with nothing but the knowledge that they are right. Sometimes, that is enough.
Mulder and Scully are superbly portrayed by David Duchovney and Gillian Anderson. Duchovney stayed with the series through season 7, then left, although his absence was written into the show, and he continues to appear in a few episodes leading up to the end of the series. Gillian Anderson starred in all nine seasons. (A side note: Gillian Anderson as Dana Scully just might be, in my opinion, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I could stare at her face for hours.)
To see these two act in the series is to see them become their characters, to the point where the viewer is familiar with them, can read their facial expressions, and feels their emotions. There are several moments when Gillian Anderson talks about Mulder after his disappearance, and the viewer believes that this is a real person. And when Gillian Anderson smiles, it's lights up the screen, because Scully is usually so stern and solemn. Likewise, Duchovney's sense of humor and wise-cracking is something I particularly appreciate about the series.
All in all, I guess you could say the X-files is a show about trust, faith, and the truth.
As Mulder and Scully take the journey together, their lives become intertwined, until they both realize that they cannot live without the other. Their journey from partners in the FBI, to confidants, to friends, and eventually to two people who realize that they cannot live without the other is inspiring. And makes this show about one more thing, above all.
It is a show about Love.
Real love. Devoted love. The kind of love that goes to bat for the other person, that sacrifices everything, including itself for the well-being and protection of the other.
The last entry in the series is the film THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE. There is a rumor of a third film, the last, that would be the end all of everything. But even if it doesn't get made, I am completely satisfied with where the characters of Mulder and Scully end. It leaves them on a good note. Not the best note. That's what I love about it. It's an ambiguous end that promises nothing. It merely says that for now, things are good.
The characters themselves sum it up best at the end of the film.
Mulder: "Go help the boy, and then we'll get out of here. You and me."
Scully: "Away from the darkness?"
Mulder: "I don't think it works that way. I don't think we find the darkness. I think the darkness finds us."
The X-files is a series that faces hard truths, real truths, about the existence of truth and the battle for it, about trusting each other along the way, about never giving up faith, and finding a love that will help you face the darkness that is ever present.
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